Firetop

I don’t remember being overly enthused about the first Pirates of the Caribbean film, but I do remember that it kept my attention for the duration. This was aided by a smattering of humour from Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and the one-eyed bungling pirate (you know… ‘That guy out of the office‘). Last night’s trip to the cinema for the second instalment, despite some humour, left me confused, worn out, stressed, tired and bursting for the toilet (it’s a long film). I consider myself a fairly intelligent lad, I certainly got to grips with the Matrix 1, 2 and 3, so just why was Pirates of the Caribbean ‘Dead Man’s Chest’ harder to follow?

The film is rushed from the outset, and it never stops. I have a sneaky feeling that perhaps the original follow-up script was shorter and featured more of ‘The East India Trading Company’ so that the initial scene related more to the rest of the action. Instead we have a new Commodore arrive on the scene, arrest the happy couple for no good reason, provide some ridiculous (and frankly uninteresting) opportunity to go swashbuckling to save themselves from the death sentence and then we hardly see him again because the film has been crammed with more action sequences than Terminator 2. I suspect this action was injected so that the sequel could be split into two films and earn extra box office revenue hence this film ends with our heroes embarking on a new adventure… to be continued.

Most films give you a high, a low, some action sequences, a chance to get a breather. This film is non-stop action to such an extent that you don’t ever get time to compute the plot from scene to scene… hence you are confused throughout much of the film. I’d liken it to Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Caribbean, meets Mutiny on the Bounty. I certainly glanced at my watch more than ten times and once or twice considered leaving (there’s a scene with a swordfight on a beach which is so tiresome).

The special effects are impressive, I can’t deny that, and one or two action sequences (such as the escape from the cannibals) quite enjoyable (although why Johnny Depp fell about 500ft through some flimsy wooden bridges and survived I dont know). Davy Jones’ immortal crew of sea creatures are nicely done, particularly the hammerhead pirate and Davy Jones himself. Not sure I much liked the Kraken.

One of my fellow filmgoers was confused by the fact that Davy Jones didn’t have a Dutch accent as “he was called the Dutchman” (I wasn’t quite that confused and explained afterwards that the boat was actually called the Flying Dutchman but this confusion does help illustrate my point). I would definitely recommend watching the first Pirates of the Caribbean film shortly before going to see Dead Man’s Chest. Then you will remember whos who and additionally get some empathy with the characters - because there are no new ‘getting to know them’ opportunities in this sequel and otherwise you just may not care who lives or dies.

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