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For the office, weddings or a black tie occasion I usually buy my suits, however, when you’re getting hitched it’s a bit pointless buying a suit with coat tails, waistcoat and cravat. With my wedding now only six weeks away, a trip to ‘Dapper’ in Dorking was called for at the weekend. A gentlemen’s suit hire shop, Dapper is not a huge store, a simple place with a small range of attire to hire or purchase. At first I was wondering if they did women’s clothing too; a shaven headed lady in front of us was choosing something (then I overheard her girlfriend say she was going to wear a dress and the penny dropped) – very modern for sleepy old Dorking.
I knew I’d have trouble at Dapper with bridesmaid dress swatches to match and Suzie_Q (plus future mother in law) accompanying me… “Feel free to choose what you like darling� should have been interpreted immediately as “agree with whatever we tell you�.
Me - “I like that one�,
Suzie_Q “No I don’t�,
Me - “How about that one?�,
Suzie_Q “No it’s not the right colour�,
…
Suzie_Q - “How about that one?�,
Me - “Nope – looks too gay�,
Suzie_Q - “How about that one?�,
Me - “That’s for funerals surely�,
…
Me - “I like that one�,
Suzie_Q “No I don’t�,
Finally Me - “I tell you what, I’ll go and sit over there while you choose what you want me to wear, and when you’re done I’ll come over and try it on.�
Add into the mix a sales assistant making her own suggestions about colours and sizes and I really just became a silent tailor’s dummy. I have quite enough of negotiating with difficult people at work all week, these days the quiet life at home on weekends is much less stressful
I even had time for the Xbox as a result.
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