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Following our scenic drive across the Cairngorms on Friday, we arrived at Tulloch Castle, North of Inverness, just after dark. Walking into reception past a large door marked ‘Dungeon’ I tried to find somebody to check us in - their computer was up and running but the desk was vacant - and no bell to ring. After a few minutes I wandered into the restaurant and found somebody to help us (an odd welcome really). Having completed the necessary paperwork we were shown to the honeymoon suite (room 12) up on the 4th floor (could have been 3rd but carrying a 29kg suitcase up the stairs it sure felt like 4th!). Once in and collapsed on the bed (can’t put your back out on a honeymoon) I realised that we’d missed Deal or No Deal… yet again

Unlike our Melville Castle or Norwood Hall suites, this was a large room with ensuite bathroom but no chill-out sofa room. However, we had a nice large balcony at the front overlooking Dingwall instead. The large four-poster bed was immediately checked out to make sure it wasn’t another Norwood ‘horseshoe’ mattress (or ‘bullshit’ mattress as I now like to refer to it). We were in luck - a huge perfectly comfortable bed, Suzie_Q made the tea while I stuck the TV on.

Unfortunately the television was on digital and reception across the board was 20-30%, it was like being back at home with unwatchable programmes, I had to resort to watching the four main terrestrial channels but not tuned in (so squinting). TV isn’t everything in a hotel, especially on Honeymoon, but if there’s going to be one it really should work.

Dinner in the restaurant later that evening was very welcome, not least because there wasn’t a mini-bar in our room and one 275ml bottle of water doesn’t go far. We would have drunk the tap water in the room had it not been bright yellow. Suzie_Q did query the yellow water with reception but was told that it was normal, unique to the region and very good for you. In my opinion this was also bullshit, dirty pipes and nothing more - otherwise how did the restaurant manage to serve clear tap water? The lack of a separate shower in the bathroom was disappointing, instead there was a half size bath with overhead shower head (which dripped on you in the bath - legs out of course).

The restaurant meal was fantastic, the soup of the day and rack of lamb which I had was perfectly cooked - a very rich sauce accompanying the lamb. The waitress was very friendly, and dressed with a tartan sash for traditional authenticity. We skipped dessert, instead opting for tea and mint chocolates in the lounge area - comfy sofas in the ‘coat of arms’ decorated bar (with bright red walls which unusually seems to work).

We only made it to breakfast on one occasion at Tulloch, breakfasts are always served so early in hotels - we’re always the last to arrive. When breakfast is included in your accommodation fee it feels like chucking money away if you don’t make some effort to at least get a bowl of cereal. After 4 prior days of Full Scottish breakfasts we had both started to get sick of feeling bloated so didn’t mind missing one day’s breakfast (no room service at Tulloch unfortunately).

On the whole this summary reads a little harshly I suppose, yellow water, poor TV, no lounge room, no mini bar, but we did enjoy our stay - especially the very comfortable bed. It almost added to the charm that reception was permanently unmanned with not a soul in sight - we checked out after struggling to find somebody to help - just as we had with checking in. This certainly wasn’t a chain-run hotel - there was some family element to it I’m sure which gave it some ‘amateurish’ character. It was at least, very much like a Castle and quite traditional. On our first evening there was a wake in the main hall with bag pipes and dancing - the only ones we heard in all of Scotland.

Technorati Tags: tulloch castle, scotland, highlands, inverness, dingwall

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